Thursday 02nd December 2021: Cancer Journal 18 ⋆ Fabienne S. Morgana

Image of a man in a beanie laughing with friends on the left, and on the right is a close-up of the same man looking concerned.
Text reads: When you're in treatment and thought going out with your friends would be good for your mental health but then you hear people coughing.
Source @thecancerpatient on Instagram — Cancer Journal 18

What I shared on Facebook on Thursday, 02nd December 2021, as my Cancer Journal Number 18 ~ this was actually the last regular cancer journal that I wrote to share broadly.

I found this going through my drafts. Clearly, I never posted it last year when I was working through all my anniversaries.

Today, it’s been three years since I was formally finished my last chemotherapy cycle.

These cancer journals were my ongoing strategy of keeping people up to date without having to share the same information again and again. I would write, and then I would get specific friends to act as beta readers, and that was helpful. Then I would post to Facebook, send the same message by email, What’s App, SMS, etc. It saved a lot of emotional energy for me, and that was becoming vital.

⭐ Cancer Journal ⭐

Thursday December 02nd 2021 (18)

6 weeks after my last chemo, which is 3 weeks post chemo cycle, nearly 21 weeks post surgery, and I am feeling a bit better.

I had my first visitors since the end of lockdown two weekends ago, and last Thursday I had my first social outing!

This week has been hiding out at home because anything over 23° knocks me sideways, and combined with high + extreme pollen days, I’m a write off.

Being out and about is so driven by heat and pollen count, as well as how I am feeling on the day – I still have days where the fatigue feels like I am pulling extra gravitational force, and I literally spend the day in bed because I can’t even lift my arms to hold the phone up.

However….
Nausea, reflux, stomach cramps, and bowel issues have largely stopped, although I still have to eat slowly, and I tend to follow whatever I crave at the moment.
My fingernails no long hurt/ache and apart from one small section on one nail where the nail has lifted from the nail bed, it looks like I will get to keep all my fingernails.
My toenails are still a bit questionable, so I’m not going to commit on their progress!
I still can’t feel about a third of my right foot (again, peripheral neuropathy), but the left foot is better, although I still have periods where it too goes numb, it’s not numb all the time anymore.
Rashes, hives, costocondritis, daily nose bleeds, and sweats have stopped.
I’m no longer dealing with the constant taste of soap either, which is a great improvement.
My coordination is still off, I’m still getting vertigo/dizziness / inner ear weirdness, so I’m not up to walking much and I have to be careful moving around when I am tired.
My vision and hearing are still impacted, I’m sensitive to high pitches and loud noises, as well as sudden bright lights or flashing lights.
There’s still a distinct cognitive impact, and I get mentally tired easily.
I’m still not driving due to the combination of the deficits, and also because sometimes I just kind of “blue screen” – my brain glitches, and I need to take a bit to reboot. Probably not ideal if it happened whilst driving, right?
Exciting news… my hair is starting to come back! I miss my eyebrows and eyelashes the most, to be honest! I’ve probably lost about 3/4 of my eyebrows and about a third of my eyelashes.

Photo top left immediately post surgery, photo bottom left when I lost all my hair, photo right – yesterday (peach fuzz! A friend called me fluffy 😂)

I have my Oncology review on December 23rd, with a view to starting endocrine therapy then; we pushed it out because it’s really only this last 10 days that I started to pick up again.

I’ve basically been housebound since July, and for the last 6 – 10 weeks, I have essentially just been sleeping and resting due to the mind numbing and all encompassing fatigue.

One study specifically around breast cancer and the particular blend of chemo I had indicates that I need to consider myself immuno-compromised for at least 9 months, so that’s something I need to remain mindful of, especially once I start to feel better.

My surgical wounds are still healing, which means, of course, if I am still healing on the outside, I am still healing on the inside. Now that chemo isn’t stopping my ability to heal, I’m looking forward to fully healing and some of the ongoing pain and swelling around my breasts resolving.

I have my Genealogy Review on the 13th December; and I will probably write another of these before the Solstice / Christmas.

⭐ This is the eighteenth of my Cancer Journal entries, if you are interested in the others, I have put links in at the bottom of this post.

This was, in fact, the last journal piece I did that I shared beyond my Facebook.

🌹 Be kind, Gentle Creatures, tend your gardens, take time to eat the roses, and walk your boundaries.

❗ Check your breasts, check your testicles.

Self checks

Ensure that you are vigilant around your self-examination. Train yourself to check your breasts/testicles routinely, and monitor your bowel habits and your urine output. These are our body’s early warning signs, and we don’t have a lot of awareness of them.