“Having intense good experiences, or a lot of them can also be something that needs processing.
This is something we can approach in a meditative way, taking the time to reflect on what’s happened and exploring how we feel about it. Deliberately reflecting on experiences and feelings helps us consolidate those experiences and make sense of them. It’s also a good way of being in more control with what’s happening. If our emotional experiences are things that just happen to us, we won’t have the means to seek more of what we like, or be able to deal with what we don’t like.
For me, the idea of the life lived deliberately has become a central tenet in my understanding of what it is to be a Druid.”
Nimue Brown at Druid Life

I found this really affirming to read as I continue to transition slowly from my cancer experience to the next act of my life.
There is no going back, no return to normal.
In the space of the last two years, I have been diagnosed with cancer in first one breast, then the other, have moved house after 17 years, have had major surgery, have done chemotherapy, have started endocrine therapy, have been working really hard with so much rehab and therapy to address deficits and side effects, had to face the fact that I could no longer do my old jobs, have navigated a return to work, and have started a new role, as well as now navigating the world with a dynamic disability.
It’s a *lot*.
I need to cut myself some slack in terms of not just putting it behind me already.
The Liason Nurse at my initial diagnosis said “you will come out of this experience changed. In what ways, and how you get through it is up to you, but you won’t be the same person you were, it’s not possible”.
I am very mindful of how lucky, how fortunate I have been and I am resolved, to paraphase Nimue Brown, to commit wholeheartedly and daily to the idea of a the life lived deliberately being a central tenant in my understanding of what it is to be a Polytheist”.

Gratitude practice blog articles
- Ask for help – then practice gratiude
- Gratitude links roundup
- Gratitude Practice 12 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 11 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 10 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 9 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 8 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 7 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 6 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 5 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 4 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 3 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 2 of 12
- Gratitude Practice 1 of 12
- Gratitude practice 85 days of chemotherapy.

Related blog posts: Cancer
- Blackberries & Perscribed Burning (an allegory for cancer & chemo)
- We are the Ancestors
- Act III
- Tips and tricks ~ Cancer Edition: Pre-Surgery
- Sunday 24th October 2021: Cancer Journal 17 ~ Chemo Edition
- Counting the Days
- Emergence
- Sunday 03rd October 2021: Cancer Journal 16 ~ Chemo Edition
- Milestones along the way
- Thursday 09th September 2021: Cancer Journal 15 ~ Chemo Edition
- Menopause
- Fuck Cancer
- Friday 13th August 2021: Cancer Journal 14 ~ Chemo Edition
- Haunted Temple, Sacred Vessel
- Friday 06th August 2021 (Cancer Journal 13)
- Friday 23rd July 2021 (Cancer Journal 12)
- The hospital week: first week post-surgery
- Wednesday 14th July 2021 (Cancer Journal 11)
- Sunday 11th July 2021 (Cancer Journal 10)
- Monday 05th July 2022 (Cancer Journal 9)
- Monday 21st June 2021 – Surgery Date (Cancer Journal 8)
- Plaster Cast
- Thursday 03rd June 2021 – the worst meltdown
- Sunday 30th May 2021: Cancer – telling your colleagues
- Friday 28th May 2021 (Cancer Journal 7)
- Friday 28th May 2021 Plastic Surgeon
- Wednesday 26th May 2021 Cancer Clinic
- Tuesday 25th May 2021 Left Breast Diagnosis
- Friday 21st May 2021: Biopsy, Left Breast
- Tuesday 18th May (Cancer Journal 6)
- Monday 17th May 2021 Arranging the biopsy
- Saturday 15th May 2021 (Cancer Journal 5)
- Wednesday 12th May 2021 (Cancer Journal 4)
- Friday 07th May 2021 (Cancer Journal 3)
- Samhain
- Cancer surgeon
- Sunday, 02nd May 2021 (Cancer Journal 2)
- Saturday May 01st 2021 ( Cancer Journal 1)
- Facebook post
- How to tell people you have cancer.
- Diagnosis
- Deciding strategies
- The Camus Question of Choice
- The Follow-up Tests
- The phone call.
- Milestones
- Check your breasts

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