Today is the anniversary of my first cancer diagnosis, and I am thankful to have read Galina’s post a few days ago about ‘holy longing’, especially as I plan for another surgery.
“Holy longing (1) opens one up and while it renders one vulnerable, it also brings with it a deep joy. It’s a very fruitful river in which to swim. So today, I will hold the memories of my time in ballet close to my heart, cherished and dear. I will give thanks to my Gods for having led me into that crucible and formation, and I will give equal thanks to the lineage ancestors, dancers long dead, who inspired me and shepherded me, who receive honor on my shrine, and who remained caregivers and teachers in the world that I learned to inhabit. I will also thank my body, the bones and tissues, muscles, tendons, and ligaments that carried me through from child to dancer, from dancer to priest, from priest to spirit-worker, to teacher, to being who I am today and who will become tomorrow.
I will embrace this state of holy longing and see where it takes me.”