Sunday, 21st October 2018
Personally, I don’t see boundaries as impenetrable walls.
I also don’t see them as transient as a line in shifting sand.
Maybe these kind of allegories are part of the problem?
For me, I like to picture them as a fence.. with a gate that I am in control of.
They are an important part of our self care.
A friend shared this list on social media today and I thought it was profound:
- It is okay to say no.
- I have a right to my own feelings*
- It is not my job to fix others.
- It is okay if others get angry.
- It is not my job to take responsibility for others.
- I don’t have to anticipate the needs of others.
- It is my job to make myself happy.
- Nobody has to agree with me.
- I am enough.
* You absolutely have a right to your own feelings. Your feelings, however, are no excuse for bad behaviour – because you have a responsibility to control your actions, regardless of your feelings.
I would add to this that sometimes, it is okay to make the decision to close that gate, and to keep it shut. This may be whilst you tend your own garden, or it may be against things or people that don’t support the beautiful, blooming well being of your garden.