Sunday, 21st October 2018
Quotes to inspire healthy boundaries.
Personally, I don’t see boundaries as impenetrable walls.
I also don’t see them as transient as a line in shifting sand.
Maybe these kind of allegories are part of the problem?
For me, I like to picture them as a fence.. with a gate that I am in control of.
They are an important part of our self care.
Comfort Zones and Boundaries: Self Care Part 1
A friend shared this list on social media today and I thought it was profound:
- It is okay to say no.
- I have a right to my own feelings*
- It is not my job to fix others.
- It is okay if others get angry.
- It is not my job to take responsibility for others.
- I don’t have to anticipate the needs of others.
- It is my job to make myself happy.
- Nobody has to agree with me.
- I am enough.
* You absolutely have a right to your own feelings. Your feelings, however, are no excuse for bad behaviour – because you have a responsibility to control your actions, regardless of your feelings.
I would add to this that sometimes, it is okay to make the decision to close that gate, and to keep it shut. This may be whilst you tend your own garden, or it may be against things or people that don’t support the beautiful, blooming well being of your garden.
These are excellent boundaries. It’s particularly true that we don’t have to fix others. One of my careers was as a critical care nurse. I think I had that rescue mentality for a long time, but I sacrificed much of myself, and depleted my own reserves. Because while I was caring for others, I neglected myself.
Oh my! So easy to do in that kind of role!
On the (kind of) low down, I am an EMD, so I can kind of relate. Self care is a real challenge for many, and it’s been just a recurring theme for me of late, so I hope to write a few more posts around this issue.
Being an EMD must be challenging to face everyday. These positions distort our perceptions because we start to think everyone is suffering major trauma. We have to see the beauty out there too. I’ll look forward to your future posts 🙂
So true! I have been fortunate enough to have friends that challenge me when my world view becomes too skewed. I’ve been doing it for over nine years, and it definitely changes you (somewhat like being in critical care would, I should imagine! ).
It has been a very different career after 20 years in live theatre and entertainment! 😀
Wow ! That’s quite a change! I hope you share some of your theater experiences 🙂
No promises! But sometimes I find myself writing a post that I actually didn’t plan to write.. so who knows! That’s actually how the first Self Care post came about, lol!
No promises necessary, but do keep writing 🙂
Thank you for the encouragement! Much appreciated! You too – I am enjoying your blog and interacting with you 😊