Saturday, 08th September 2018
There is so much information about our comfort zone.
- pushing boundaries
- ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’
- about the need to transcend our comfort zone
- ‘no pain, no gain’
- the need to break out / free from the comfort zone
- enforce personal and professional growth.
Neale Donald Walsh is often quoted.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”.
Some of it is true, some of the time.
Safety First: Self Care
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs lists safety as secondary only to the physical requirements for human survival. That’s pretty important.
We have therefore, conflicting needs and advice.
We need to be safe:
Safety and Security needs include:
- Personal security
- Emotional security
- Financial security
- Health and well-being
- Safety needs against accidents/illness and their adverse impacts
If these needs are not being met, we are not in a position to grow and develop.
To put that simply, sometimes, pushing our comfort zone isn’t the best thing for us.
And that’s not only ok, it’s actually the best and most loving choice we can make for ourselves.
- Caring for a sick or dying loved one
- Struggling to work two jobs in order to pay rent
- Studying for exams
- Recovering from surgery or illness
Sometimes, your comfort zone is just what you need. The ability to retreat into our comfort zone may be just what we need in stressful situations.
That’s ok. We need self care. We need appropriate boundaries.
I have been thinking about boundaries, self care, and comfort zones since Samhain.
We are currently entering the period of the Dark Moon: it’s suitable to spend some time in contemplation and maintenance.
A friend has spoken highly in the past of a Boundaries course done during their time in the Quaker community.
This book was re-released last year and I am currently reading it.
Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend.
The book is liberally peppered with quotes from scripture, but there is some really solid material in it.
I’m planning to write around boundaries.
Do you have any favourite books or references around boundary work?
I really enjoyed reading this! Safety first! Thankyou!
Thank you so much! I think it’s something we can overlook in a culture that is a bit obsessed with concepts around freedom, pushing boundaries, personal and professional development… we need to be safe, we need to allow space to just *be*. If we have other stressors in our lives, we need to place self care as a priority as well.
I really enjoyed this post. Very interesting:)
Thanks so much for taking the time to make a comment. 🙂 Stay tuned – it’s the first of a series!
It might seem a bit tangential to boundary work, but the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz is a fav. It speaks to our social domestication and breaking false agreements we are programed to accept does take us out of our comfort zones, while adopting valid ones can provide health, well-being and security 🙂
Oh, that’s a good connection to make! I hadn’t thought of the Four Agreements in boundary terms, but yes, I agree!